Hey Chrome,

I've spend the better part of my "down time" this weekend catching up on posts and I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents! So, here are some of my thoughts.

The whole baby #4 thing. I honestly don't think she wants another baby right now, it's the fear of the posibility of not having any more. I totally understand where she is coming from. I went thru it after #1 and am feeling it right now. Even tho the pregnancy wasn't planned, now that I miscarried, I suddenly want to start trying for #2. H and I both know that we are not ready, we are still enjoying #1 and we are not in a financial place to have #2. BUT, I still want him to acknowledge that we will have a second, when we're ready. For you, I think you have a very strong argument that has nothing to do with R and M...it's a simple financial thing. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on this, but I wouldn't have unprotected sex at this point. You just never know!

Regarding bringing your A-Game, I whole-heartedly agree with Lou. Learning new techniques and such doesn't mean squat if your W isn't interested. To work on technique, you need to have a willing participate who is mutually interesting in bettering the quality of sex you are having.
No oral, no finger penetration, regular penetration hurts, don't touch the boobs, no toys. These are pretty basic things for her to be resisting.

I know you have been skeptical about the Peace Between the Sheets no-orgasm theory. I started reading the book and it is worth consideration. You might want to bump this to the top of your reading list. The techniques may help you build that EC with your W, and let her open up and increase her comfort level with certain things.

I know that "working on you" is something that can make you feel better and feel like you are doing something to better the sitch., but I think it would be in vain at this point. It really doesn't matter what your "techniques" are...you need to continue working on building the EC b/t you and the Mrs.

Just my thoughts, take it easy...it took 10 years to get to this point, don't think that it's not going to take some time to get to where you want to be.

Hugs,
Nicky

"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'" Frederick Collins