Okay, so it's Wednesday. I'm currently dark (recent occurrence). But, I know enough about what's going on right now and in the next few days that I'm having trouble coping. I know they are *right now* in the same hotel room... with our two girls sleeping not 6 feet away. I know that W told her parents we're going to MC... which we aren't... yet... and that her parents went the "you+him=good for the kids" route, with her wondering "wtf about good for *me*?" I know that OM bought a baby/room monitor so that W can go "visit" him in his hotel room while leaving the girls in her room (original reason for this thread, but it's confirmed). I know they have 3 more nights of this "freedom", and I hope the next 3 nights are easier than this one (probably not). I know that Friday night, OM is going to dinner with W and *her mom* - babysitter with the girls. I'm fairly confident her mom has suspected something since last Thanksgiving... told me "she talks to him an awful lot,doesn't she? doesn't that bother you?"... and I told W as much same Thanksgiving (and that I worried, but trusted)... jeez, get a clue and *don't* bring him around, unless you want more crap from your mom. Oh wait, she told her mom she thinks he's gay... yeah, that'll work, just like it did with me. My *grr* side wants nothing more than her mom to say to him "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with you here and with my daughter.", but won't likely happen - her parents are very non-interference at times and ignore a lot. (My mom has suspected since God knows when - even before the OA started, and well before I truly suspected - and now is 110% certain they're at least in an EA. So hard to not spill the beans, but I can't if I want our M to work out. Mom's can read their sons in an eerily accurate manner, sometimes. She wants to send W and OM an article on EAs - I told her "oh, God, please don't" and had to leave it at that.)
Again, and as with this A crap with most people, it's not the sex that bugs me... so much. It's the deceipt. And not just the deceipt, but the depth and breadth of it. And in this particular instance, its a great deal of "wtf are you doing this IN FRONT OF OUR 2 YR OLD DAUGHTERS FOR???" God, our girls don't need to be confused like this!!! Ugh. Unless we get a divorce, I'M their daddy, and I'M the one that should be cuddled up with you in bed, or kissing you lovingly, and they don't need to see some other fat a$$ doing the same. (note: I'm either not worried they'll have sex in front of the kids, or in complete denial about the possibility.) *GRRR*
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Side notes: * I have DR now and am reading it, although it is slow going. Not sure how I'm going to get through the thing at any good rate, once W and kids are back home. * Seeing an IC, but have only had two visits (planning on sticking to once a week). No truly substantive help, just yet. * Tried to plan something every evening this week, in order to (1) distract me from dwelling, and (2) start to GAL. * Planning various things toward renewing self-interests and working toward GAL (haven't read this in DR, but have read enough elsewhere I know I need to start doing this, anyway): going to the gym, poker nights, movies with friends, misc other stuff with friends, take guitar lessons (with the guitar W bought me for b-day long ago!), clean out the f'ing garage so I can take up woodworking, and more as I can think of it. Although I start to wonder, if I GAL too much, what about spending time with W?
