Since I don't know you well this could be off base...but...I recently complained to my therapist that I wish my H would give me a map to his heart as complete as the one that I could give him. I'm trying not to be critical of him and doing better. Maybe if you think of your wife's comments as invitations to win her heart back you'd figure out how to use them to your advantage.
I can identify with the dealing with friends/family issue you describe. My H is somewhat similar to you in that if he doesn't find someone fascinating he doesn't talk much (now it does get me that he tends to find very attractive women fascinating but that's another story). Any way there are many times when I'm called upon to socialize with people from his work and I'm always very attentive to them (I'm generally pretty attentive to all humans and plants too for that matter, so this comes easily for me). When my H does not reciprocate with my friends, family, or coworkers, I feel that he's being disrespetful to me because these people are important to me. It's the same as if I were telling him something important to me and he discounted it.
Let me know if I'm off base folks. Hope you can help me be more encouraging and less fault-finding of my H. I hear some of what my H seems to experience in your words Mike. It helps me to hear someone else express what my H seems to go through. Don't know why I can't figure it out by observing him but I sure am glad I can hear it in other people's words sometimes. Your post helps me be that much more determined to communicate positively. Thanks.
Take heart, warmest wishes, ALTL
[ October 10, 2001: Message edited by: alottolearn ]
but that's another story). Any way there are many times when I'm called upon to socialize with people from his work and I'm always very attentive to them (I'm generally pretty attentive to all humans and plants too for that matter, so this comes easily for me). When my H does not reciprocate with my friends, family, or coworkers, I feel that he's being disrespetful to me because these people are important to me. It's the same as if I were telling him something important to me and he discounted it.
