HEY GANG,
WEEK 6, the household is functioning ok, I think we all feel a little more comfortable. things have been pretty good. It got a little rough last weekend. my wife gave a birthday/family dinner for about fifty to seventy prople at our home. I felt i was helpful but also felt out of the loop, so to speak, no sit down participation in the planning. Afterwards, she brought up some old stuff, accusations that other people think i am stand offish and mean. this is something that we previously went around about for about two or three years. I started to take a look at it and made some adjustments concerning her family and closest friends. I am very particular about who i let in my live and it is my right. I have been blessed with an automatic bull shit detector, even tho, I treat everyone respectfully and courteous, that's all they have coming unless they strike me as very genuine or interesting. My wife on the other hand speaks from a perspective of having known people pleasing and control issues. People pleasing because she wants those people to preceive me a certain way and wants me to act a certain way to produce that perception, (her own little perfect world at least ). I feel that she sometimes does not have acceptance for me just being myself or faith that God knows what he's doing, I have excellent communication and interpersonal skills.
She spent about 30 minutes Sunday pointing out flaws and defects in my character. This little practice was deadly when i did it prior to our separation and it made me feel defensive, to say the least. I basically told her i don't mind a pull up but i do mind a (brow) beating. Now stick this on top of the fact that we haven't made love since i have been back and the renewed stress of bills, home, the business and taking the kids back and forward to school everyday, you have me just coasting trying to stave off depression. I am really trying to be patient with this sex thing I have asked and made a couple of references to it and was not verbally rejected even tho the body language said something different. I would really like to hear from you guys, because my committee is becoming activated and I'd much rather hear from you.
mike g

[ October 10, 2001: Message edited by: MIKEG ]