Mike, I am sorry you are having such a rough time,but I am not surprised. Your wife is ambivalent about your coming home. You could either do she as she askes and give her more support... Encouraging her to try it(having you back at home) and she can continue to evaluate the situ.I think she will panic if she finds out you are trying to buy a new house. BTW,don't you think she should be involved in the process? The second approach is to pull away and go dark,but you have done this before and it may be time to "do something different". I know you are saddened by her behavior. You have to decide if you want to take the risk and just move back. You would have to DB big time from that point on as a reconciliation is only the begining. I would probably move right in, the next time she mentions it and NOT give her a minute to change her mind. However,it's your call Mike and only you know what you are willing and able to do! Please don't feel disheartened as this has been your W's pattern and demonstrates her own insecurity. I think she wants more "passion" in the realtionship and that may be why she was unfaithful to begin with . She may want that "adolescent" type of attraction which burns out fast in real life...or it just may be another excuse to avoid the responsibility of a mature loving relatipnshi[p. Whatever the case she is not putting the needs of the children first and the importance of"family". Are you still in counseling? The fact that she does want you to come home at times,is a very good sign,so don't give up. Got to run...Jen
