Everyone hold your applause, My wife called last night and we were having a very normal conversation, kinda like a how's your day thing. she mentioned that she starts school tomorrow, I asked had she made arrangement for the kids, she said that she hadn't and then I said we can call my oldest daughter so she could be available to watch them. Then out the blue she said that she did not want us to move back together, she does not know what to do, she needs to hear from me concerning what she had just said. she talked about rationalizing and justifying her decision concerning the move and that she did'nt want to be the bad guy later on down the line if it did'nt work out. I told her that I understand her feelings and that this was scary stuff. I also told her that i'm not going to try to talk you out of it and that I had to go and would talk to her later. After thinking about the conversation more I heard a lot of fear, i was confused as to whether she was actually asking for some support because she kept saying i don't know what to do, and I need to hear from you. so since i had told her i would call her back i did, the conversation was very civil, once again she talked about her fears and the what if's. I am not angry, I am not even very sad, I am just disappointed, she has told the kids that i'm coming back and my youngest daughter is counting the days. I asked her had she told the kids about her change of heart and she said no. I have a feeling that this may have been that case of cold feet Jenny mentioned in her most recent post. I also have a feeling that she might change her mind again. I have some thinking to do. My dad says I should bail. This move has made me very skeptical. If I do move in will it last? Is she really willing to give this a shot? I did share that she would probably benefit from attending counseling regularly like once a week to help her work through these recurring issues. She says 18 out 20 things in our marriage are good she loves me but she's not in love with me. So just to be clear I asked her to describe what "in love" means to her and when she did i just said i understand. then she asked me what would i call what she described and I told her that I have experienced what she had described at the beginning of relationships and periodically throughout lasting relationship and sometimes five times a day with total strangers and that it was my understanding that what she described was a very real thing and that most people my age understand it is biological in nature. So I need your support. I kinda don't feel going dark is the thing to do, going dim, yes. I had just yesterday made my address changes at work and mail etc. My wife does not know that I have just about completed setting up the financing for a new home we've outgrown the first one and it's something we both want very bad. I am definitely going to back out of that deal ASAP. oh yea, she called me back at 1 o'clock am and asked me to come over. I very politely refused and told her that it might make more sense tommorrow night since I will be responsible for taking misha (my 5 year old to school) in a way i want to freeze up and just say drop her by my house which is probably what i will do depending on what comes up this evening. Help!
[This message has been edited by MIKEG (edited 08-28-2001).]
