I don't have much time but I need to get this out and some feedback in. My wife just called from arizona, she said she called to check in. A few weeks ago We had agreed that our youngest daughter would be attending the private school that she attended prior to the separation. I told my wife that I had made arrangements for my daugther to be placed in the school, which I thought was good news. It was, but she called back later saying that the previous conversation produced feelings in her which led to a conversation of which 95% of the time I listened. My W said that our marriage is very practical and that she loves me but she is not in love with me. She says she doesn't know what to do with those feelings and doesn't know if she wants to stay married or not. Needless to say this put me right back on the merry go round. She says she will go to counseling and very soon as a matter of fact I am going to give her Michele's number tonight. I feel pretty empty right now and I kinda want to take her key put it in the mailbox with a letter that says please go away and stay gone. I know these are feelings of disappointment, anger, and hurt but even as I write them I am beginning to feel better simply because I have gotten through what i've been through. I do feel that I need to detach and remember that my wife did not become miracluosly cured and is still very confused. I guess I must retire myself to do nothing in relation to the nuts and bolts of our reconciliation everything I do seems to trigger a relapse for her. I am seriously considering throwing in the towel because I am tired of the pain and uncertainty. However, I thanked her for being honest and said "the bottom line is we don't have to stay married. We either give it a try or not. Last i felt is that we were in a reconcilation process are we still there in your eyes? she said yes, but damn i feel crappy. It would help to hear from some of you veteren DB'ers.
[This message has been edited by MIKEG (edited 07-18-2001).]
