Mike, I see the hangup. Why not revisit the affairs and the C session lies during the next C session. Why not ask her how she is willing to help you regain trust. I think the discussion is fair game in a controlled environment.
Me, I just gave up on it all. W never wants to talk about that time period and I have quit asking. I figure I will hear someday but quite frankly, I've quit worrying about it.
Bottom line is you know in your heart when they are straying. You can feel the broken connection long before you are willing to admit it. Awareness of my own feelings is what I use to gauge wether there is a problem now adays. This process has taught me that I can't rely on words. I can expect words, but we know what expectation gets us.
