Am I Creating a SSM Part IV

[heatherg]

Your "shields" are so obvious from your posts. I'm sure your H is fully aware of them too.

That's fine. I'm not on an undercover mission, kwim?

He's just mirroring what you are presenting to him it seems like.

Well, it's a little more than that, but I see your point. We both react to one another, but I think I've gotten rid of most of the 'act before you think' reactions under control. Now, it's just more of a my move, his move type of dynamic. I told him I wanted to keep up the good thing we had going, I wanted to sleep in my own bed...we had a great weekend, let's just keep it going. Nope, he couldn't do it. He said no, you can't sleep in your bed. Then he brought up all the things I've done that 'prove' a lack of commitment. BS! I'm done with that crap. What would a more evolved person do in that situation, can you tell me? He is holding on, holding back, refusing to give. But yet, my advice is to keep pouring out my heart? Keep telling him my inner most secrets and fears and desires? I don't get it! I'm not into the whole 'turn the other cheek' thing.

I think you should work on "softening" a little

I will try. I do need to soften. I am hurt. I am sad. This last blow really hit me. Because I am really feeling like there isn't anything I can do. All the advice I get is helping me to be better for me, but it's not going to help H see my decision to do something that he feels I shouldn't as anything other than a lack of commitment. These are his issues and there isn't anything I can do about them. I am losing hope. I feel like I just need to 'give up' for a while, maybe forever, but at least for a while. Just accept things as they are and do my best not to think about it. But that doesn't mean I have to be cold and distant. I will try to soften.

Also, just wanted to say I love Food Network too!!

Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade is my favorite, but I love all of them! Paula Dean is a cool lady too.