Hi Mike! Experts agree that the "secrecy", surrounding affairs- both EA and PA, is compelling and attractive.Once things are "out in the open" these activities are seen for what they truly are ...sordid and inappropriate.They lose their appeal! Yes,your wife may have hit bottom and this is good. Unfortunately, this may have been what she needed to really make a sincere effort at restoring your marriage. She needs to do some work in therapy to earn back her position with you.Her behavior seems erratic at best and she seems to experience mood swings. There is a sense of immaturity/irresponsibility in her actions.In other words,she is a troubled woman who needs some psychological help in sorting things out.Otherwise,this pattern may repeat itself.Mike you need to handle this carefully,too, by not throwing it up in her face. Follow DBing principals,read the book again. I suggest you get the book "After the Affair" as it will provide insight into what both of you are bound to experience emotionally. This will not be easy as you both are wounded. Take it one day at a time and continue to avoid active pursuing. With time,patience and love your marriage can be better than ever.
Jenny
[This message has been edited by 17baker445 (edited 06-25-2001).]
