I've yet to see a post to Heather in this forum as brutal as some on Infidelity that attempted to make the case for her leaving an abusive husband. Yet there's more condescension. It's an interesting dynamic.
Yes it is interesting. The same can be said of the MLC board. What I’ve seen of the MLC board does not impress me in the least. All I saw was major spouse bashing, whining on the pity pot, telling each other to dump the SOB spouse and lots of hand holding. WTF? How is that going to move anything forward? All they know to do is GAL and wait. Big whoop. A monkey could tell you that.
You may pick up a condescending tone hear because those that post regularly and have been here awhile have done a tremendous amount of self evaluation. The efforts of this board focus on the person posting here, not the spouse out there. You know this all too well.
So if a person keeps deflecting and dodging, it becomes frustrating to us (well, at least to me) to see this continual denial. I can see exactly what Heather and her H need to do. I could see exactly what Mojo needed to do. I think Lil and others see this clearly too.
But I was not able to see this at all not so long ago. When the “fog” lifts it is easy to tell if someone is being truthful with him/herself and has faced his/her fears. I can see how this seems condescending. It felt that way to me too, and it made me angry as well. But the very fact that I felt that way, and that you and Heather apparently feel that way now, is evidence (to me) that the fog still surrounds you.
We can play nice and hold hands, just like on the other boards. But I have seen more growth, more learning, more awareness on this board in the short time I’ve been here, than anywhere else. If an occasional 2x4 is needed to do keep that going, then I say so be it.
