Heather, I generally have far more questions than answers on these boards so forgive me if this is totally off the mark or is covering old ground. You say H always says or acts as if he is uncertain of your committment. At this point you sound uncertain of your committment and given the sitch it is certainly understandable. Have you ever replied to his questioning your lack of committment with the truth in a calm but firm way? Maybe something like:
"You are right H, I am not sure how committed I can be to staying in this marriage with the way things are now. I would like nothing better than to repair the relationship and move forward but I do not know whether I can give you the assurances you need with the way things currently are. I am unsure that I can wait until the time that you decide it is time to move forward."
Simple, truthful, matter of fact. It might set him back on his heels a bit. I know the only progress I have made lately is when I answered Judy's question of whether I loved her with an "I'm not sure". In my sitch I have found that a calmly dropped bomb is far more effective than a barrage of angry responses.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
