Here's something else you're not going to like: if he gets friendlier when he drinks and he's more approachable, then if he stops drinking, he may become totally non-sexual. My bf would also drink 18 beers at a sitting. The fact that it's "just beer" is irrelevant. After bf stopped drinking, he lost all interest in sex-- at least outwardly. Partly because the years of alcohol abuse and the heart problems had affected his ability to have an erection, but also because he had never really had sex sober in his life. He drank and drugged his way through college, through his marriage (his W joined him) and through the R right before he met me. (That girlfriend died about six weeks ago from alcoholism-- liver damage.) When he stopped drinking, he was like a chick newly hatched from the shell-- too exposed to be intimate. You've got your hands full, girl.
And I agree with Cobra that you deflect and waffle all over the place. Focus on YOU. Start going to alanon. Get into counseling for YOU-- whether he goes or not. When you focus all of your attention on him, you abandon yourself.
