Mike, It seems you continue to place yourself in the role of pursuer,which your W interprets as your trying to control her.
I agree that you are overdoing it in being so available and by anticipating her every need. The woman is not given a chance to handle anything herself and as a result remains unsteady as to what she really wants.
Your putting on your PJ's was a passive aggressive move on your part and it obviously upset her.In my opinion if you "force the issue" and move back home before she is ready you will get a similar response,magnified 100 X's.
Her attraction toward you and the love that is under the surface needs to be re-ignited by your distancing yourself in various ways. It's a dance..."one step forward and two steps back".
Mike, I think you easily overpower your wife and she is terrified. This is about control.
I know how very hurt you are over her behavior and lack of positive feedback re all your efforts to take care of the house and kids. Remember,she is sufferring emotionally.Don't personalize anything she says !
Detach and and let her have a chance to "find you" again!
Don't give up..your marriage and family is worth it! Please read the DB book again as well as the Mars/Venus book. I understand fully how frustrated you are..I've been in your position and been treated in a similar fashion.My H finally came out of it when I gave him the chance to miss me and everything I had to offer.
Jenny
[This message has been edited by 17baker445 (edited 06-10-2001).]
