Not sure why your W would have a problem with you involving D with chores. All kids need chores to instill a sense of responsibility and to give them a chance to contribute in some way to the family. The word parent comes from some Latin word that means "to teach." As parents, we are their primary educators and most important teachers. We need to teach'em how to be independent so they can eventually take care of themselves. Remember that saying about teaching someone to fish versus giving them a fish?!
When you have your household discussion with your W, find out what she thinks D is capable of in terms of chores. Then talk to your D. Be positive and look for a win/win solution for all.
