Well here's the latest,
last night the wife and i stayed on the phone for about 3 or 4 hours, I lost track. It all started with her telling me that she missed me and i inadvertantly said "well why don't you fix it." What followed was not bad. We talked about the pros and cons of us moving back in together. She honestly shared her fears concerning the issue. I shared my feelings and the source of my frustrations. It seems as though she has been dealing with a lot of fear as opposed to faith. I think the turn around point in the conversation was when I shared that the source of my frustration was not the fact that the process was moving as fast as i want it to, but that it appeared that now that we are healing she was reluctant to step out on faith to do what she and i both know and have been taught is God's will. And I'll be a chicken with lips, she very thoughtfully agreed. She then gave me a blow by blow of her feelings concerning the matter. I just listened, and when she asked for feedback I was very careful to just talk about me. I have become acutely aware of how we had in the past inadvertantly discounted each others feelings during our conversations.
Here's the kicker; my daughter called my wife today (oldest daughter lives with me) and my wife asked her feelings about moving back in and that they needed to talk about it further because "it is going to happen."
This evening wife called and ask me to pleaseeeeeeee come over and spend the night. so here I am, she woke up to answer the door. She is exhausted working full time and just finishing school (which she attends full time also) finals. The house is an absolute mess which makes me very uncomfortable. I she is unconcious almost so i straightened up the kids room and I'm thinking about doing the kitchen, I'm also thinking about putting mike to bed and going home. I do want to give her some support but i do not want to awaken my old codependencey issues either. For the last year before we separated i did all the cooking, cleaning and parenting because she stopped doing anything. whadda ya think ? FEED BACK PLEASE. Ok i'll do the kitchen and that's it. The joint is hurtin'