Thank you guys for your replies, and of course your right and i do agree that OR's are necessary for reconciliation. what i am trying to get at is my availablity to her and the frequency of me initiating contact. For some strange reason it seems as though when i am not available all the time and do not initiate contact often that i get a better response or should i say a more desirable response. I think one of the reasons i am really desperate for feedback on this is that this little manuver also plays right into my control issues. I try to be sure that when i do it, it's not to punish or get back at her but to help me maintain peace of mind and some distance. Sometimes I catch myself not calling when i really want too. This was a good thing earlier in the separation but i'm not so sure about now. I do know that the more time I spend with her and the family the more likely I am to get frustrated because things go so smoothly it seems silly that we are still not living together again. If you can give me some feedback on your experiences in this area i would appreciate it. A big part of me says that i should do nothing to impede communication, then a part also says if give her everything she wants meaning; come when she says come and go when she says go and call all the time, this might prolong our moving back in together, not to mention get me caught up. Am i being irrational. I'm not calling right now even though i want too because i am confused about this issue.
