Just wanted to throw in my thoughts about OR talks. OR talks are bad at the beginning because of the way WE respond to them and because often at the beginning the s has their mind set and isn't budging at that point. Why would they, we haven't usually shown them any changes yet. I know every OR talk we had 6 months ago involved me crying and H was totally irrational with his response. Equals dead-end OR.
But now I think most of us in this forum are in a different position. Our s are beginning to open their eyes a little and we are not going to "lose it" because we're darn good db'rs now. It's ok if tears still come, if there's a tiny heated moment-we still have human emotions. But in the talks I now have with my h, I am rational and able to put myself in his shoes... and he's slowly getting there.
So I think the whole point of the OR is timing. When they leave, they're nuts and we're devestated-not good timing. Now we're all a little calmer and more open to hear both sides of the story. If you feel yourself react when they talk, keep your mouth shut or explain to them that while you want to discuss it, it does hurt like hell but you are grateful they're willing to share their deepest emotions with you and TRUST that you're not going to run the other direction.
