quote:Originally posted by alottolearn: Hi Jamie, We must have been writing at the same time. Glad to have some more positive and grounded words from you.
Me2, Like you I thought our marriage was great. It has been painful for me to realize more and more how my H did not share this opinion. On the other hand he really, really didn't want to loose me because he knew I was a truer friend than the "two-faced one". I knew something was wrong in my life but couldn't even figure out it was in my marriage most of the time and thought the rest of the time we were on somewhat different tracks but that happens in marriages sometimes. Also I think that sometimes it just boils down to him adoring all the attention he was getting. He really feels bad about it. On the Marriage Builder's web site in the recovery section there is a writer who goes by "SKM" she is a betraying spouse and reading her posts has helped me understand my H's perspective.
Anyway, yes, I do think time will help you but I think you need to find gentle, loving ways to let your H know that you are hurting IF he is open to this. Counseling is a great idea also as it often gives a safe place for some of this. Solutions during the recovery stage are different than in the on-going affair stage I think.
The next two weeks are going to be packed for me so I won't be able to drop by as often--it's going to be very hard to resist as this is proving so helpful! Will look forward to catching up as often as I can!
