Quote: In short, he is being a pompous inconsiderate a$$ that gets a kick out of upsetting his W. GUB, you need to take away this power from him.
I think he is too! It's odd too; that once he gets me upset and obsessing he turns into an even bigger jerk... I'm doing my best to take that power away from him. I backslid for a couple of days but believe me I'm not going to bring up OW... any of them... ever again. And if he does I'm going to tell him that I DO NOT want to hear about her/them. I have confronted him before and flat out told H that if 'they/she' is what he wants to go but I was not going to be dangled on the proverbial 'string' while he made up his mind... and actually; after that conversation is when things started getting better between us.
Quote: tell him that his recent admissions have led you to the conclusion that his behavior needs to change. If he wants to stay in a M with you, then he needs to start shutting down advances from OW immediately. If it even gets to the point where they are expressing advanced desire, then he blew it by letting it go too far. Playing naïve isn’t going to fly. I used to really think he was naive about when other women were coming on to him; now I think he's been yanking my chain all these years! I suggest you clearly state that if future situations come up where he shuts down OW like a respectable M man should, then he is NOT to tell you about it. If nothing happened, it really serves no purpose other than to upset you. Though, if he chooses to tell you about advances from OW going forward, you will assume that he blew it and therefore you will hold him directly responsible.
Looks like it's time for another talk. Your suggestions sound like an excellent idea! (And they're from a man's POV!) Very matter-of-fact!
I do take comfort that he IS with me; and that he is chosing me and not 'them'. And I do know that he is playing games; thinks he's keeping me on my toes (so to speak). I really like your advice to not discuss the OW at all. I did feel like this was the right way to go but it's good to have positive reinforcement of one's own thoughts.
Still smiling and positive! (I've always been a creative introvert, so I'm still working on the standing up for myself thing!)
Thanks again... gonna have that talk this weekend... I'll let you know what happens...
I think he is too! It's odd too; that once he gets me upset and obsessing he turns into an even bigger jerk... I'm doing my best to take that power away from him. I backslid for a couple of days but believe me I'm not going to bring up OW... any of them... ever again. And if he does I'm going to tell him that I DO NOT want to hear about her/them.
