Kent asked a question that really helped me: are all the triggers negative? I've been calling negative thoughts triggers but I realized with that question that many times during my day I'll get a big smile on my face from thinking about something my H has done that touched me especially during the last 20 months. SOOOOO, I'm also experiencing positive triggers! Like that thought a lot ! (how do you make that big toothy smile?)

If the fact of the affair were able to completely disappear, I'd be extremely happy with our relationship. While it's too bad we went through such trauma to get here, we are absolutely better off. This is, even if there were no other reason, because our relationship is real and honest now, but going through these tough times has also allowed us to see how much we really do love each other. I've learned not to be so naive as to think we're completely out of the woods (thinking that way just makes it tougher when the difficult times come) but we're closer than we've been for our whole marriage. It does seem like this edge of the woods has more briars and thickets but we can see the open space just on the other side. Oh well, that's just the way it is.

So, thanks for my happy thought of the day, Kent!
ALTL