Brian, While I wholeheartedly disagreed with your other post, I actually agree with most of this one.
The point he's making is one OT makes all the time. You cannot be more in the relationship than she is, and that means taking on more responsibility for her than is appropriate considering the situation. Sure, you fear for her, as we all do, but in some real way, you are not the one to protect her right now.
You keep saying you're her rock...pardon me if I disagree. You WERE her rock maybe at one point but if that were true, she would not be with another man. You percieve yourself to be her rock and as such, have a certain amount of power in her life which I don't really think you have right now. In a way, I almost see it as a sort of control issue.
You seem to think that without you she would not only be lost as a human being, but likely dead right now. That's a TON of power to assume you have over another person, and I'm not sure it's healthy even if it is true.
I think on the whole, I agree that DB and detachment are the keys to this and I think you are on the right path but you just need to take a look at things from a slightly different perspective.
Keep posting, and keep your chin up. What you are dealing with is tough and I know it's a hard battle.
