Hi Friends- I wanted to say hello after being away from the board for a few days. I've caught up on this thread and have to agree re. there being good days and bad days in this whole process.
I've experienced a couple of lukewarm days and did some internal walks down "bad memory lane" until I forced myself to snap out of my downward spiraling moments. Some recent triggers were pretty potent, but I think my H and I weathered the storm o.k. As you've pointed out, we have to look at the big picture, brace for those bumps, and slowly process all that there continues to be learned.
Yet, even during those now rare unpleasant times that might at first glance seem slightly reminiscent of those truly ugly times, I'm able to look at things realistically. The reality is that hopefully our rebuilding process involves keeping the wonderful things from the past relationship and abandoning those that are undesirable. Occasionally, those undesirable things we believe we've totally left behind sneak back in and, depending our mood, rest level, health..., we react well or not so well. I think it is Kent who said that we need to be careful not to overburden our spouse during such moments. I agree wholeheartedly because, although our feelings may indeed be legitimate, our spouses are not necessarily ready or equipped to fully sooth our reopened wounds. So, we learn and go on and try to focus on the fact that the support and affection from our spouses truly is improving and that little slips every now and then is normal and to be expected.
I'm learning and moving forward in a new partnership that has not yet been completely defined. This is a great thread and I'm thankful for your supportive words and sharing--Jamie
