Quote: ... you understand your role in it, which is nil, and then accept your total lack of control in the situation, turning then to what you CAN control, YOU.
Oh I absolutely understand my role in it.. My friends and family are harassing (well, strongly advising) me that I am NOT to blame -- however I agree with him that I did NOT meet my commitment to him to lose weight and ameliorate my demeanor... I was derelict in being lazy and not working hard enough (I mean really -- I had EIGHT YEARS! to make change, and I made slow, small, and not-even-steady changes...) His complaint against me is valid. Would I WISH he would love me as I am? Of course -- but I knew going in that he was not capable of that. It's a part of him I accepted when we married... and just... {shrug} didn't do enough soon enough.
(Okay, yes, he CHOSE to get involved with her, rather than work on the marriage, I'm not to blame for that... but I am in great part to blame for him falling out of love with me... I accept that, I acknolwedge it, and I do a decent job of beating myself up about sometimes... But I accept it as MY part in all this.)
Quote: frankly this new "threat" seems to be something I VERY unsettled by, but the basic fact that you are consumed by HIS actions and not your own, bothers me.
I'm a bit unsettled by it too. Sometimes I believe him, sometimes I think it was staged... I've let my family and friends know of his threat -- I'm going to send a note to my lawyer. Then I will let my H know I have done so.
But I am trying to be NOT consumed by his actions... It's hard.
NW
My thread is under the Infidelity/Adultery section and is called Mea Maxima Culpa -- but I can't get the link to work.
