Thank you for your concern. (I'm concerned too...) Saw the financial planner last Tuesday, and lawyer last Wed.

I am much much calmer now, having spoken with the lawyer; and (and, in essence "hired" him -- hourly for now, retainer to follow if it becomes acrimonious).

Neo (almost certainly) CAN'T leave me with "incredible" debt -- because he can't divorce me without a property negotiation (assets and liabilities), and I am more prepared than he is. I have been (somewhat) concerned he might split with such liquid assets as we have -- the money borrowed and earned -- but I cannot change or affect that, if he so chooses. And even if he does -- I still have the house and the business. I will be able to manage the business (barely -- but one does what one must!) and get by.

I won't declare bankrputcy, I don't believe in it for most purposes (personal choice, not a comment on those who do) and so I will do what I must. {shrug} That's true of life anyway, isn't it?

My hours of reading this forum ar ehaving a wonderful effect on my resolve, on my views, on my ability to hold my composure... There is nothing else I CAN do except keep on as I can. When he comes home, I may, after a week or so, re-approach about splitting the money market so I have some control... He blew a gasket when I brought it up before he left... it may or may not have been because he was salivating to get away to his mistress. {frown}

Neo's Wife

My thread is under the Infidelity/Adultery section and is called Mea Maxima Culpa -- but I can't get the link to work.