Mea Maxima culpa!

[Neos_wife]

Thanks so much... Yeah, the lizard is VERY strange! Well, when I wrote: "WE" wholly support and are committed to the H being the leader of the family: I meant H and I -- we're both "anti-feminist" -- but it also applies to the lizard...

Also, if I am to cast aside my puzzlement at what all this means in terms of my advice to you, and just try to actually give you some, I would start with the poem. Do you take that as OW trying to tell you why H is "leaving" you? That you are fat and not submissive enough? Also, in the end, it suggests that the person seeking advice (H) is a fool for doing what he seeks to do, does it not? Strange for OW to suggest this.

Yeah, that's what has me entirely baffled! (And waiting /hoping for some advice from H about it.) Is she trying to imply that she also/already knows that it cannot possibly work between H and her? Is she trying to imply that I am the wonderful injured innocent in all this, who had been faithful and true to my H and is being "rewarded" by his betrayal? (I'm NOT innocent; I take seriously that I DID commit to lose the weight, and I failed in my commitment to him. We both, he and I, see that as a very bad thing!) Is she implying that HE is being a shallow jerk for dumping me and taking up with her, even though she will turn out unsatisfactory?

I just don't know WHAT she could be intending by it. And I am not answering it yet -- even though she sent it to me *again* this morning. I'm hoping he will get his email working and read it.

I was up in the middle of the night last night, thinking of writing something like:

Yes, I miss you terribly too.

I would add only: people are judged by the ramifications of their actions and decisions. You have stated that you absolutely do NOT want to be perceived or judged as a home wrecker. I would say only: *half of MY home is not AT home.* What are the ramifications of your actions and decisions?

But, that would send her into hysterics (did I mention she's weird?!), and damage his "vacation" with her. And I suppose also NOT be in keeping with Michele's DB principles. I am constantly reminding myself that the OW is NOT the problem... and I need to forget she exists and concentrate on DB... But OH! It's hard! She was such a friend, we enjoyed each other's company so tremendously (even in the midst of them falling in love in front of me -- she and I REALLY liked each other!) H is sad that this "thing" {eye roll} has damaged her and my friendship too...



Please let me add, though. Generic advice is very, very welcome -- so much of my reading here has been so helpful because I do begin to see that we're not so "special," so different, so odd... I'm feeling SO much better to read about MLC -- and all the things my H is saying are the things all the OTHER WASs are saying too! It's NOT some weird twisted craziness on his part... It's a typical weird twisted craziness that lots of people are going through!