Positively new thread - how do you deal with this?

[RBinBR]

PL, keep up the confidence. I like the fact that you seem to be in charge of your life now. I think that your H is seeing your energy and zest for life and is feeding off of it in his interaction with you.

If I were you, though, I'd try to bite my tongue the next time you want to do an R talk. Also, be careful in telling him that he's hooked on a drug and that it isn't real. We may know this, but he may feel patronized hearing it from you.

However, I spent much of the remainder of the day today trying to figure out what I wanted to do about what H had said about our R. I pretty much decided I did not want to do anything about it today, because I was definitely processing a lot of emotion, pain, anger, fear, rejection. Feeling taken for granted, blah blah. It caused me to pull back a fair amount, so I was much quieter and more reflective the later part of today than I had been yesterday or early this am. I went through being angry, frustrated, wanting to cut H out, give an ultimatum, etc. etc. yada yada. The remarkable part about this is, I do not think H was very aware of what I was processing. But perhaps he was. D was, of course. I am usually an outgoing bubbly person. I was reflective, a bit subdued, preoccupied.

See how your R talk affected your PMA and hurt your ability to show off the new you? I see the impact of your 180's, but I think you need to be more patient.

All the best ...