WOW! You are really taking a new and bold approach with your addressing H and addressing shame. Good for you.
Just be careful with H right now. He has to work through things, and telling him his shame does not fit into your picture is hard, b/c it IS what he's feeling and needs to work through on his own. I love how you're bold, but bring out your gentle side too.
See, the personal development activities that you and H shared in your M and you are now talking of again is where YOU are leaps and bounds above OW. He married you not just b/c of physical connection, but the DEEP emotional connection that comes with talking about ourselves, our growth, our dreams and vision. NO ONE can beat that. I believe that. If it's the way he wants to live again, only you understand that.
I like how you're weaving his MLC into the tapestry of his life, part of the development, like it's a part of growing up, instead of this huge marital drama. That's wonderful, and you being his loving friend, not hus hurt W.
I do agree you should have a Plan B to jet. Remember, it keeps to your view of the M, detaching, and just living life fully now, and the new PL!
