I can relate to Jamie's words of wisdom. I to have learned to shut my mouth and listen (usually ). I no longer allow myself to automatically react to things W says and does. I had to pull the fuse on my automatic pilot in order to disengage my mouth. I find that thinking about the response often brings me to the conclusion that I need not reply at all. This is a big part of my ability to detatch. Another part is that after what I have gone through emotionally this past year or so, I'm not sesitive to all the B.S anymore. If I see W has had a bad day when I come home, I say "take off for a while". It keeps tension out of the house.
Me2, My W at one point told me she felt it unsafe to share her feelings with me. A big part of it had to do with my resentment of the fact that she was not putting as much into the family and R as I was (my perception then). I think the resentment shows in everything we say and do. I let all those bad feelings go about 5 months ago with one backslide on new years day. Now I try real hard not to judge W and have given up on trying to get her to adopt my standards.
I hate to say it, but this whole horrible journey has really been good medicine for me. I find that I can be happy and now I actually take time to stop and smell the roses.
). I no longer allow myself to automatically react to things W says and does. I had to pull the fuse on my automatic pilot in order to disengage my mouth. I find that thinking about the response often brings me to the conclusion that I need not reply at all. This is a big part of my ability to detatch. Another part is that after what I have gone through emotionally this past year or so, I'm not sesitive to all the B.S anymore. If I see W has had a bad day when I come home, I say "take off for a while". It keeps tension out of the house.
