I think you have to be careful who you tell about the A and who you don't. One thing my C advised me was to always think ahead when I wanted to do anything. She would say, Pretend you are back together; how would he feel if you had gone with your emotions and told everyone? In other words, if you tell everyone he will most likely NOT like that and will remember it later. Or if he asks you not to tell anyone and you do, he will also remember that. Especially if that person starts hassling him. Frankly I think it stinks especially because you want to tell his whole family and half of yours. You have to make your own decision on this and just hope it goes allright.
Hmm...then I guess I did not go dark; I detached. But it was not easy. I could not have gone dark and never seen or spoke to him because it was not realistically possible. I'm not surprised he is going without his wedding ring. But I don't think it's anything to do with you. If you know what I mean.
The OW isn't even the problem. I don't really consider her a big part of the picture. He is temporarily fascinated with her but no matter what he thinks, she does not have his heart. She's a diversion from his problems and unhappiness in his life. What he needs to realize is that he needs to concentrate on him (and his marriage) to find himself and his happiness. You can't find it in fleeting moments 6,000 miles away.
It is so frustrating having to wait. I know the feeling well. Be good to yourself this next week. I always tried to find a silver lining. Your silver lining is she IS far away. My H's OW worked with him so they spent every day together and then worked together on the 4 to 12 shift.
I'll be thinking about you and hoping you are doing well.
