Positively new thread - how do you deal with this?

[RBinBR]

Question: is it ever helpful to let family members who are in the dark know about what is going on?

I think it can be in some circumstances. What Michele cautions against is basically tattle-telling. When the WAS drops the bomb, the LBS usually wants everyone to know what a scumbag he/she is ... and that usually backfires.

I think the decision to tell a family member depends very much on the person. If the family member is going to react with anger and rejection toward the SOB who would do such a thing, then it isn't helpful. If it's someone who can honestly and openly talk to the WAS without judging him, then I think it can be helpful.

PL, there are things that you need to say to your H ... that you can't say, or at least can't say and have it be beneficial to your sitch. I wonder if your H has confided in anyone about his A. If he hasn't talked about it with anyone but the OW, then it could really be a relief to him. Anyway, that's my opinion.