BTW, lucyhelen, you probably ARE right about the wedding ring, even though I didn't want you to be... Last time I saw H (on Friday) he told me the jeweler won't have his ring repaired until the 22nd, and he leaves for Germany to see OW on the 21st. So, I think he does want to go there without it on. That's just too convenient. He was quite sheepish when he told me that.
I was reading on the MLC board today too. How sometimes the WAS lies to the OW as well as to the LBS. I hadn't thought of that. It is entirely likely that she does not have all of the information about his sitch either. Duh. Up until now, I have not liked her much, and I still don't like her from what I can see, especially her poor choices and her "poor me", needy act with H - everybody is mean to her, her H and kids etc. But I had a moment of compassion. She probably thinks H is going to solve all her problems, has great assets she will benefit from, thinks now that H & I are separated that I am not an important factor ha. And now he will go to see her without his wedding ring. And you never know, maybe SHE will feel pressured, that's possible too. Just some rambling thoughts to remind myself that there is a lot I don't know about how this is going to turn out. It makes it more like an interesting movie when I'm not feeling overly attached.
Question: is it ever helpful to let family members who are in the dark know about what is going on? I think they would be supportive to our M and not supportive of H's behavior and ongoing activity with OW. Does that make pressure for H and make things worse? Or can it be helpful as part of getting to the bottom? It seems like it could be interpreted as pressure or make H mad, but it also seems like it would accelerate some movement forward. Thoughts? Up until now, I have been very careful with his family especially, and they think I kicked H out and don't know why. I miss my SIL knowing what is happening especially. She is very loving and family oriented.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
ha. And now he will go to see her without his wedding ring. And you never know, maybe SHE will feel pressured, that's possible too. Just some rambling thoughts to remind myself that there is a lot I don't know about how this is going to turn out. It makes it more like an interesting movie when I'm not feeling overly attached. 
