Positively new thread - how do you deal with this?

[PositivelyListening]

Hi RB, Yes detaching seems to be the whole ballgame and then some. I am super proud of you in this regard, as a matter of fact. I remember when you got really mad and just let it rip with your W. I was worried it was harsh, but it was authentic at the moment, you were just done with the way it had been. And I recall your W made several moves in your direction after that happened. That's what I feel like is bubbling up, a "breakthrough" in detachment for me. I just want to make sure I manage it/communicate it responsibly and that I am consistent. That is my biggest concern, that I will say something and then not follow through. I was really good at boundaries with my girls raising them. I was loving, but very firm. It really worked, there is a lot of respect there bewteen us. I don't want to lose H's respect (or my own self respect) so I need to make sure the steps I take are genuine and that I can be consistent (rather than just reacting to an emotional passing thought that will change one day to the next).

This is the hardest thing for me, what you said:

I guess the key to detachment is finding satisfaction and fulfillment in something other than your M.

I feel like I have a fulfilling life, when I met H my life was full and still is. I can keep tweaking and adding. But truth is right now, I see couples on the beach or on TV and I am sad. I saw an old couple holding hands walking on the beach tonight. So sweet. I want that in my future. I don't want to give up that picture for my future, it is part of what gives me hope. So how do you detach, and still hold the picture of the future in your heart. I'll bet you a million bucks, right when I get the detachment thing down and I am happy and truly OK without him like I was before I met him, I'll bet that is when H will want to come back. That would be life at it's finest