Positively new thread - how do you deal with this?

[RBinBR]

Well, GH, this is a silly thing to argue about (and on PL's thread, no less), but I don't agree with this:

A little over a week ago, you were ready to walk, and really, you still may be, but if that happened, and you ended up walking away, then you would have in effect, been wrong in that the A still continues and you W did not leave him.

My consideration of walking away wasn't based on "giving up" because she was still with the OM. It was based on whether or not I want her back after she's done with the OM. Her R with the OM was, in my opinion (and hers in her saner moments) always doomed.

You see my point. You CHOSE to make what you found a positive. Most of us have a REALLY hard time doing that.

That's true, but it's because I found info that was easy to see in a positive light. If I had discovered a text to OM from W that was along the lines of "Sex with you last night was so amazing; my H was always so boring in bed and he has such a small winkie," then I doubt I would have been calmly pulling out a solutions journal and making notes to read Kama Sutra and order some "natural male enhancement." I would have been in anguish, which is what believing_isaiah has been describing from when she read similar emails from her H to the OW.

By the way, the snooping of the bank statements was done early on after she left to protect myself financially (something I think is wise for those worried about a S running up a big debt and stiffing them with it), and the only time I snooped on her phone was when I took her to the ER a month ago and OM was calling her every 5 minutes (literally 14 emails and texts in two hours) and I took her phone so she could rest after being up all night and getting a morphine shot. I didn't snoop on a regular basis, and again, I generally agree that snooping is a really bad idea.