Very well put PMD. I think what irk's me the most is watching people damage themselves AND their hopes for reconciliation by constantly needing reinforcement of something they ALREADY know enough about to make appropriate decisions. To me it signifies a great deal of denial, which may seem opposite but what I mean is that why keep snooping to find out that the affair is still going on, or if they did "whatever" last week? Since most of us are VERY aware of the affair's status either because of our WAS's actions/words or what we "feel" then this constant snooping is indication that we need something more to prove to ourselves that this is REALLY going on. Oh, and as I always say, snooping because you think you're going to find that email where things are permanently broken off between them is just silly. It ain't gonna happen.
If you know your WAS is having an affair and he/she's lying about it then what more do you need to know? Why does it make you happy to know the details? Is it because you think, well, ok they've had sex, but so help me God, if he says "xxxxxx" to her or takes her to our favorite restaurant, IT'S OVER! My point is the same as it was earlier. Most of us already know all we need to know to make informed decisions. Knowing more just adds to our inability to shift focus away from the affair, and in the long run, our inability to reconcile.
