If you Don't mind, I'm gona bust in here and participate. My W and I are also in the rebuilding process. I did not realize how hard this would be until a couple of weeks ago when W and I went away skiing for a couple of days (no kids). This was our first real alone time in 5 years. I felt like we were starting over again complete with some awkward moments.
I still find myself needing to be very careful with what comes forth from my mouth. I'm still very careful about initiating OR discussions as they tend to cause tension in my W. My W was never much of a talker.
I am familiar with Micheles constructive conversation techniques and do try to use them. I'm curious how you lead into OR discussions with your W, how they go and how often these conversations actually come up.
Last night, I took off for an hour or so, came home and got ready for bed. W started questioning me on where I went. "I said out and about, no place special". She then commented that she did'nt like to feel like she needed to pry this information out of me and I replied "then don't, you don't have to worry if I'm out feeling depressed or out with anyone. I just needed to get out, clear my head and think about stuff without distraction". I still don't think she was entirely happy with my response.
My question is this. In the early stages, I was urged to be less consistant and reliable (big 180 for me). It certainly sparked interest from W and as a result I have continued this activity from time to time. The problem is now I actually look forward to this Kents night out alone. Do I ever stop being mystery man or do I just keep putting off her prying questions?
