Me2, It really sounds to me like patience and persistence may be the keys for you. It takes time. LOTS of time. Sounds like you are doing pretty well on the balance of honesty and understanding part. Pretty tough when you understandably are furious. Think you should give yourself a big pat on the back.
It's been a long hard road for us but I really do feel like we are very close to "having what I thought we did FOR REAL!" Exactly the words I choose too! :)
