I think your ages matter here, I would also like to know whether you were ever passionate together or has it always been like this?
I don't think there is much you can do to change her natural libido as long as you are sure it is her natural level, which if she has never MB then probably is so. It would be like trying to change her natural height or skin colour or something. We are very variable as humans and this is one of the variations.
My own libido increased with age. I did not have a high sex drive as a teen or in my early twenties, it gradually increased and in my 30s it was ridiculous and now I'm in my 40s it is still high but not as distractingly high as it was in my 30s. I know many other women for whom this is the case. Men's libido on the other hand seems to head in the opposite direction. Starting off high and gradually diminishing.
How do your sexual encounters play out, do you take plenty of time over the foreplay, do you talk to her in a sexy way, will she talk at all during sex? When I was younger and used to get easily distracted (thinking about something else entirely) during sex, my bf would keep talking in a sexy way and make me talk back to keep my mind on it. This kept me on topic until I could get properly aroused. With LD women sex really is a mind game, sexy music in the background can help. Watching a very mildly erotic movie can help - a love story with a little bit of emotionally connected passionate LM in it rather than any thing raunchy. Keeping track of her cycles can help too. It is a fact that women are hornier around ovulation time. Is she on the BC pill or any other type of hormonal BC - this can have a devastating effect on a woman's libido, maybe it's time to look into another method.
How often/easily does she achieve orgasm? I would aim to get her to O about once a week but not more. I remember having the feeling that I only had so many O's per week in me and if BF tried to ML too often it was just a chore to try to get me to O. I'd have been happier with quickies and once a week long slow passionate session. As I say, this improved as I got older and now I O very easily and if H was up for it I would be quite happy to ML passionately 3 or 4 times a week.
There are of course various herbal remedies which claim to increase libido but I can't vouch for any of them.
If not having a better sex life is a deal breaker for you then I would certainly say end it before you sign yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment in bed. I know you love her dearly but it is a very high price to pay and there are many long years ahead of you.
good luck
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
