I am on my way home for the day and thought I'd check my post, I'm glad I did! I know what you say is true, most of the time I'm OK and it isn't so 'in my face'.
Honesty is a big one for me, above everything else I remember about growing up was honesty-and consequences. I'd get in more trouble for lying than I would for whatever I had done that I was lying about!
I never thought he'd lie, never thought he'd do this. Niave on my part-I alone take the blame for that one. I know...he did-I am still here willing to make a go of it, but I feel that until I trust him, which we both know I don't, and when I feel I have the whole truth (which is in itself a double edged sword, because I must believe him in order to trust him, the two are so inter-mixed) I will not be able to REALLY forgive him.
I'm gonna go home upbeat/happy and as comfortable in my own skin as I can be -not gonna be upset/mad/hurt...will let him bring this whole thing up-IF he wants. He is HERE with me and our kids....I will repeat this mantra all the way home!
