wow, hairdog, those posts were a rude awakening for me. even though we are making some progress in our communication, and she knows i am thinking about leaving, i need to seriously consider the fact that she will *never* be like "that" (ripping my clothes off HD). and as much as i love her i need to realize that. i've read some of the success stories here. and i still believe we can be one. but can our defintions of "success" ever match? since we started reading SSM together and i've stopped keeping her up at night and begun communicating, i have seen her "recognize" her LD. and, like i said, she knows i am serious about this to leave if nothing happens. but i don't think the breadcrumbs (great analogy) will ever amount to enough. and i hate to say that. but, you're right, i am lucky to not be married yet and not have kids.
one of the things i want to ask her over the next few days (really on our last legs, i'm afraid)... is where she imagines us one day. and hold her to it. she may say "to see you happy"... but i need her to know what that means. and whether she really imagines herself capable of it. i wrote her a letter and i have been very supportive. but the ball is in her court.
lastly, she suggested we rent a "steamy" movie last night. which turned into a disaster. i thought it meant she may want to mess around, but it turns out she thought it would "appease" me in the absense of her affection. i told her i had no interest in the movie, and all i was thinking about was her. it's amazing how different HD and LD people can think when it comes to the basics about sex and turn-ons.
thank you, hairdog, for your inspirational advice. no i have never been married. and i really don't want to be in a SSM in 3 years with a kid. that is very possible unless i put my foot down. i love her with all my heart and i would do anything for us. but unless she says she wants to be the HD mate that i need in life, i know we have nothing to work towards and i need to leave. i have changed the best that i can to be a patient, loving, communicating, and hide any resentment or frustration.
the day of reckoning is at hand. thanks guys. wish me luck.
