Re: maybetime: Have you ever been married before? You're 28, but I see a lot of what I would call "magical thinking" in your post, e.g., "i dream of her being HD one day and tearing my clothes off every chance she gets." It ain't gonna happen, dude. The thing is, she may, indeed, love you, but she can't give you something she doesn't have. And you may love her, but as long as you are begging her for kisses on the neck, HJ's where she is looking away, and a continuing diminishing frequency in your 5 minute sex acts, your love for her won't be enough to sustain you through a lifetime together.
I know...it sucks.
I speak from experience, though, so you might want to start thinking about your next move. My W loves me, and I love her. We had fairly frequent sex early in the relationship, but it diminished in frequency pretty quickly. Oral, both giving and receiving, is off limits. I can't touch her breasts or anywhere close to her genitals, unless we're about ready to make love.
And, maybetime, we make love from 2 to 5 times per year. Yes, you read that correctly, per year.
This is your life, my friend, unless you sober up, quit the magical thinking, and figure out what is important to you. And let me tell you that if sex and touching and kissing is important to you now, it will not cease to become important merely because she is the gatekeeper and she is setting your agenda for you. It is the feast that is spread before the starving man. When she feeds you, it will not be from the scrumptious dishes you see before you each day and hunger for. It will be a cracker or a bit of crust she throws your way to keep you happy. . . well, not "happy," but it will keep you there, by her side.
Does she want children? If so, that is what you are, my friend...a sperm donor. And once the kid or kids come, it will be that much more difficult to move on with your life.
I could say more, but I think you get the idea.
You may identify with CeMar, but you do not want to grow up and be him. Or me.
