One more time. It's accepting her as she is, just as you want to be accepted as you are. You obviously resist the thought of having to become LD now don't you? Because IMPO that's what you think your W would like....it's not really any different than what you are expecting of your W. You want her to change....and to her that feels like "I'm not good enough" and that you are demanding. People will naturally resist change you if someone continually points out their flaws.
Once again you are asking for something that is going to give you a guarantee that if you do x then y will happen. I can feel it in your question. You still aren't DOING anything. I suggest you just try it. I can almost guarantee you though that until you start accepting her the way she is and start speaking her love languages (not yours)....she will resist changing.
CeMar, I don't know you personally, all I know is the limited persona you've let us know on this BB...with VERY little information about you....and about how you truly interact with your W. So I'm left with my impression of how I think you probably do interact with her, that impression tells me that you do not communicate honestly with your W. You've never denied that either BTW. Just on this annonymous BB you avoid answering direct questions. You ask questions....and then when it truly does appear you don't get the answer you want, you stop responding. I suspect this is how you behave at home too. I have no other reason to believe differently. That type of behavior will get you nowhere fast in a R.
So...until you do at minimum the following things....
Communicate your pain to your W Communicate that it's not just SEX you are looking for with her. & Look to yourself for how you can change your behaviors.
I'm just going to keep repeating myself to you. It's time for you to start doing something and stop looking to us for guarantees.
Oh....and if you've paid attention to my posts in the past. I AM AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT.