Pressuring for me (back when I was LD) was that I felt like there was a constant expectation of sex from me. Like every touch my H sent my way was an expectation of something further. Why? Because that was the vibe he sent me. You know, constantly grabbing my butt/crotch/breasts. No matter what anyone says...touching like that IS sexual in nature, it's not something you do with just anyone. Back then I honestly did feel like EVERY night he expected me to have sex, because not an evening went by without me feeling pawed....and well, his attitude towards me certainly didn't foster a mood in me to want to be sexual with him. It was a vicious cycle.
He resented me for not wanting to have sex with him, I resented him for constantly touching me (I felt like I was constantly being felt-up and pawed by him)....he made me feel like the only thing he wanted from me was a way to get off. Thus the vicious cycle. Now, of course today....I know there was more he was looking for, but he never communicated that to me at all....and at that time, I didn't have the history I do now to understand.
Now that I'm the HD person in my M I know how very important it is to communicate all the other things I'm looking for with my H...that come with that sexual intimacy. I'm not just looking at him as a piece of meat...I'm looking for many things to help foster an emotional connection.
The problem with people allowing themselves to be vulnerable to their partner in an R is that....they need to feel safe enough with that person to be vulnerable with them. Often if one person feels pressured by the other for something (such as sex), they don't feel like the other person views them as "good enough as they are", they aren't acceptable as they are....and they aren't going to feel safe enough to be vulnerable with them.
