That is your right. You wish to control your body, as I suspect my wife also wants to. But the key to marriage is making ourselves vulnerable to each other, and that means vulnerable in ALL ways. By making it clear that certain physical actions require permission, means that you are going to STIFLE any real connection in the future. In effect, more egg shells are being produced by this kind of interaction between spouses. In the SSM book, the husband in chapter one makes it so clear, everything that was FUN about his wife, she has sucked right out of their marriage, all because she did not want any physical actions that MIGHT lead to sex. If I wanted to grab my wifes a## on the way by, I likely could lose a hand. Not exactly the way to build points with your husband.
Quote: Feeling constantly under pressure to have sex only makes it worse.
What is the constant pressure to have sex? Is that once a week, twice a week, everyday, twice a day? What is the solution, what will take away the pressure to have sex? Should you just expect your husband to stop wanting sex with you? Men are built specifially TO have sex, in most HD men, it is a constant need, and the longer they go without, the stronger that reminder will become (the opposite of LD woman). MB is NOT going to provide significant relief. So how should the constant pressure for sex be alleiviated?
The SSM is like taking a starving man into a French resturant and then giving them bread and water, and then expecting them to be happy with what they got.
