I do not think you were being mean-spirited and perhaps assertive and aggressive were not the correct words to have used.
You're right, I do need to see the light, I do need to come to terms with myself, my shortcomings and the truths about my behaviors and mannerisms that have hurt my wife and damaged our marriage.
The truth stings, quite a bit; to realize that I am not the man that I thought I was, to learn that I have caused such pain in the one person that I Love the most, is not an easy thing to come to terms with. I am ashamed of the person I've allowed myself to become.
I have a lot of learning to do, a lot of growing still, a lot of patience to acquire and exercise. Summarily, control is probably my biggest problem, and being out of control right now is the result of my relentless pursuit of gaining it.
I have a lot to consider, think about and mull over, I'll post some of my understanding and further realizations as they become more clear to me. Thanks again for your interest and help.
