I know what you mean about sometimes wanting to scream....I did the other day in the car-I was alone, had run to the store for something and I just started yelling. It felt good!
And, yes, sometimes I feel that we'll be OK and that things are working out, then other times I feel as if we're standing on the edge and can't keep from falling in.
What I want is my marriage and my life back the way it was....before his A, before he went overseas. I know this is not possible and realize now that I was very niave then to think my marriage was strong enough to endure that year apart. I also feel that he accepted the job in the first place to get away from me (he denies this).
We have always had the kind of relationship where we'd rather spend time with each other, doing things, than with friends...we've moved 6 times in the 8 years we've been married (function of our jobs) so it's difficult to make many close friends. Our families are close (within 3 hours) so that helps.
How are you able to be individuals yet remain within the boundaries of the marriage?
Although we're together, sometimes I feel so alone. He's an introvert and quiet about emotions-he's always been that way-but through all of this and the counseling, he believes himself to be opening up. I am not convinced.
I know what you mean Dave about it seeming that your spouse doesn't want to go away with just you....how are you dealing with it? Our anniversary is next month. My mother offered to keep the kids for a weekend and send us away - alone (and pay for it!)together...we only had to pick the weekend. Well....sounds great, but because of his job, the only weekend he has off is the only weekend mom has to work. So...it's a NO GO. Yeah, I'm mad as hell, but have been keeping my feelings to myself. I don't want to seem too needy-trying to act 'as if'. Historically I have been the planner, the scheduler, but NOT this time. So, knowing him, we won't go.
