If you had asked me a year ago what i would have done if I had found out my H was having an A, or that it would be with my best friend, I would have told them that he made his bed, now he can lie in it. I wouldn't have foreseen myself forgiving, much less DBing to save our marriage.
Yet I did find out those things. And I have forgiven him. And he wanted a D, it almost became final. He had the LOVE of the ages with OW. He wanted to marry her... even talked about getting his vasectomy reversed. Then he woke up to who she was, what he was throwing away, and he we are reconciling.
My point is that it is useless to try to imagine how you will handle the situation if it arises. You WILL have the immediate feelings of disgust and betrayal. I physically attacked my H when I found out. [And let me tell you, WAY out of character for me] But when the dust settles that is when you figure out how you want to handle things, your life, your R with your spouse.
Don't worry about the what ifs. All you have is today. See what you can do about making THAT better.
