You know you've come to the right place...and you aren't alone so I'm going to delve right in...since you've finally asked for help
You said this (I have told my H over and over that I need him to be passionate, caring, ML to me and everything that goes in a marriage.)....do you, reading this now....see how vague it is? What does passion, caring, "and everything that goes in a marriage" mean to you? It's waaaaaaaaaay too vague to try to communicate to him what you want.
It leaves far too much room for misinterpretation which only leads to more frustration for you both as well. You say your H gets quiet, my H would do that too....or I'd get one word answers. Leads me to think he's ashamed about something....are you SURE he's no longer involved with someone else? I hate to say that, just making sure. He had an EA once....so you need to make absolutely sure that something like that isn't going on again.
I get from your post that he used to have a healthy SD in your opinion, that he used to express himself in a way that you liked...but now he doesn't. Is there possibly anything going on at work that could be affecting him? Any health issues?
