Hello...I have not posted in a while ...jumped here from Newcomers-anyway, the struggle I find myself in right now is about what you described. How do you rebuild yet maintain your individuality?
I am probably one of the lucky ones, when my H has his affair and more than likely MLC he was working overseas, it was all 'over and done' for him when he returned home last summer. I had suspicions but no hard proof of PA until 4 months ago. He never left, said it was NEVER about leaving me and abandoning our marriage-which I thought (foolishly) was pretty solid. Still says he 'doesn't know why' he had A. Many topics are discussed as to why, he just says 'that's a part of it' I know I'm just too hung up on that issue....
Long story short, here we are, I have read DB (twice so far) and try to use it's principles....still read the boards every day...but even with that and with therapy it just seems that sometimes I am just going through the motions, it's hard to explain but it just doesn't feel the same.
So how do you get back what you were before and not lose yourself in the process? Patience is one thing that comes to mind. Trying to be the woman I was when H and I fell in love.....And, yes, this IS where I want to be, I've thought long and hard about that one...I certainly don't want to start over either.
Hoping for everlasting patience....and taking it one day at a time.
