DID, I know exactly how you feel. I too am not good at the one day at a time thing. and wonder too, why is it that we have to be the ones to swallow our pride and get things moving to where we want to be???? i still question that. I know it is hard and i do have a difficult time alot. i try and keep on my work out schedule and keep myself busy. find that person you were becoming and still go forward. i have good friends(pix) that are there and keep reminding me to breath. it really is hard sometimes but continue to focus on you. there is alot that i had pictured with the reunion with my h that did not come true. but if i look at the little steps(and sometimes they are tiny) i have to believe that things will work out. i have gone this far with my faith and trust in GOD, that i know HE will not fail me now. Like Pixie had said, there are two sides to what has happened, and i think we do forget that, we have to be a little understanding of our spouses and give them the time too.
it is also good that your h is going to go to counseling. mine has refused. so take that as a good sign.he also shows you the affection and tells you that he loves you. keep that close to your heart. my h tells me that he loves me but finds it difficult to show affection. i hurt because of this and don't understand it. he tells me he still needs time. so time it will be, even if it is extremely difficult for me.
keep you spirits up and rememeber to breath. do what you have been doing for yourself.
